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My beloved husband, with every microsecond of our lives that we do not make a conscious effort to choose to remember who we are, we are not who we are. This is it! That is an answer! To our amusement, we go to this three-dimensional reality and acquire physical bodies. For the thrill experienced when we managed to recreate the frequency of Heavens in the dense atmosphere of Earth. It's some sort of equivalent of sports, -- team sports to be more accurate. The more you are capable of slowing down your vibrations and identify yourself completely with physical reality and sense of finality and separateness, the harder it is to remember who you are -- a magical light being, a child of God. The bigger victory it is then to awaken your soul and say: Hello! Glad to have me back! And it's not enough to have glimpses of that memory once or twice a year. No, that's exactly what I'm talking about. The continuity- is what counts. One second after another we have to remember to stay awake to make our choices, not to slip back into unconsciousness. It requires a high skill to keep a little island of the high vibration in the Sea of unconscious heavy atmosphere of Earth. They are not compatible. "...and ours is the fate of clouds dispersed above the deserts of the world..."

We are getting better at it, however, with each try. There are more and more of us here, on Earth, that can keep that state of awareness longer and longer at a time, -- five minutes at a time, five hours at a time -- every new minute is a personal achievement, record of the soul. As immortal beings we go back and forth from edge to edge -- from orgasmic experience of being God- extending our contraction into becoming separate particles -- vulnerable, scared, small. And in that position- it is our biggest challenge -- lays the reason for the whole process. Now it is our responsibility to be able to revive the memory of our essence as light beings, committed to choose Love and to help others to remember that. And in that Light -- allow yourself to receive help from others openly for they are here for you. Amen!

When I needed it the most, when I felt lost and scared, yours were just the right words. How did you know to say them? That is exactly why we are here together: to keep each other on track by reminding about our Intention.

I had a full recollection of our agreement to become partners this time around. I saw us together before we came here. We promised each other to meet here and see each other to the top. Our partnership is about surfing the waves of gravity together, to be there for each other to remind each other about our intention, to gain full awareness of ourselves and our commitment to bring "Heaven to Earth". If we start drowning deeper and deeper into the dark Sea of Unconscious, between two of us we have enough leverage to pull ourselves back up into the Light. I chose you for a partner because among men you have accumulated the right level of self-awareness to match mine. And you chose me for the same reason. I remember this now very clearly. We knew we can count on each other, our souls have enormous respect and appreciation of one another. And now in our physical bodies we can relax and trust and enjoy each other. We're not here to hurt ourselves but to witness each other's happiness and victory, whatever form it takes. Remember: nothing real can be threatened.

Every negative reaction and thought must be neutralized by conscious reverse of the negative charge into positive. Every single moment during the day we need to watch if our experience is generated by resistance or anger, or fear, or too much worrying or if we simply slipped onto "auto- pilot" regime and forgot to have an experience of being alive entirely.

Everyone of us at any given moment is on their way up or down. Everybody's process is precious. You can't judge others, because you have deep respect of their choice to go down. The lower in vibration of misery this soul dares to go to -- the more difficult it is to make a turn on the bottom, the more excitement the victory of homecoming brings in the end. The timing is very individual. For some people that graph would look like this:


For others is would look like this

or like this:

Regardless of our direction at the present moment, whether it is "up" or "down", in whole we all are here doing the same thing just by definition of belonging to the same time/space continuum.

There is a simple exercise: it is utmost important in the end of each day to take time to go over the events of the day and recall every thought and every reaction that was based on your failure to stay awake. Whether it was a fearful thought of not being able to accomplish something, when you forgot that you are a magical being that is capable of doing anything, or you felt angry, stressed, tight -- the range of emotions that are readily available in the sphere of influence of Its Majesty Gravity. When you feel gravity -you do not feel yourself. That's what you need to recall every day! Simply acknowledge that experience. Simple recognition of missed opportunity will do. There is no need to feel guilty or regretful about it. Guilt is also gravity-generated emotion. Don't keep yourself low by indulging in shame. You will surely bounce back up as long as you remember your built-in mechanism of bouncing back and sense of direction -- which way "up" is. And don't worry you'll be presented with the same opportunity over and over again until you will learn to recognize it.


Every negative thought left unacknowledged and unattended for more than one day multiplies in geometrical proportion. It spreads like germs, it's contagious like plaque. That's how that steady pull of unconsciousness works. Small charge of negativity left unnoticed and not neutralized and replaced by positive charge makes you gravitate towards thicker and thicker layers of unconsciousness until you can't see skies anymore. When you screamed at me: "I don't even know who you are", you were absolutely right. You didn't know who I was. Even worse, you didn't know who you were. That's exactly how it works. Any time when you're angry, or scared, or find yourself in any kind of conflict, it's a sure sign that gravity had pulled you down, into unconscious again and it's time to turn around and claim your spirit back.

Let's live happily ever after, my dear, dear Michael! Let's renew our vows! Let's have another wedding! Let's celebrate our life together! I love you!


7-14-99, Vina,CA

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Zero gravity area. Pure bliss! It is hard to be functional and productive in this place. On the way up, if you cross The Border you can stay here forever. 


Ultimate Comfort Zone. Fulfillment of earthly destiny. One can be grounded, relaxed, focused and present here. This is the area of high efficiency from a perfect health and pure joy of being alive. The area of physical life in spirit. Harmony and peace experienced in the physical body when a person remembers his or hers origins and intentions. It is a narrow corridor where you can still keep your physical body and at the same time experience enlightenment and full memory.


The Dark Night of the soul. Fear, separation, pain, inability to function. The gravity is the strongest here. It pulls you down and wants to keep you. It generates the experience of physical reality as total, as it is all there is. The challenge of the game on this side is to choose to make a turn -- to remember who you are, where and why you came from. And overcome misery, despair, loneliness and open your mind to Trust, Love, Happiness.

With a lot of practice it would
start looking like this, and at some point - like this, which is what we want, staying inside of this corridor or where "Heaven meets Earth" when you can still have you physical body and remember Oneness at the same time.

There is no better or worse way. You can't even really influence anybody's timing or path directly. The most you can do is to do your own thing, make your own choices and it might make it easier for others to make theirs. Amen!

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