How can I help my baby bond with me after a traumatic hospital birth experience?


At this point the main thing to help your baby (or any small child) heal their birth trauma is TOUCH.  Your skin to their skin - holding, massaging, kissing, acupressure, Jin Shin Jitsy (ancient technique of holding different points on the body, connecting and activating meridians). Or you could try it’s modern version TARA approach, developed by Stephanie Mines, the author of ‘We Are All in Shock’. You can do EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on her, an even simpler version of TARA. If you can find a very good chiropractor or skillful cranio-sacral practitioner, it would be very, very helpful for both of you to integrate a big experience. Every layer of healing that you would experience will be reflected in the baby. You are still one system. The more you learn to accept and love yourself, the more you can relax into being who you are, the more the baby can relax into having a body.

Remember that the important thing is that everyone is alive and the healing will happen, just because you love your baby. When the baby feels loved, Mom gets away with a lot of incompetent decisions. Birth is never predictable and has it's own logic. Baby’s Soul had her/his own agenda, which you had no way of knowing. When it comes to birthing and dying, there are no accidents. The way a baby is born is not only up to you, their spirit also had a big part in how it unfolded. Just keep loving your baby, that is the best remedy. Babies are very forgiving.